Today, being such the beautiful day that it is, I decided to head to my local Starbucks to get work done. I ran into my acquaintance, Ben, there. I like Ben–he’s a good guy. He and I were talking about travelling, since I will be on the road quite a bit in the following weeks. He asked how difficult it was seeing friends when I travel so much, and it made me think on that a little bit. I told him that I still find time for those that are important to me, and I feel that everyone does, but it brought me to a new prattle du jour.
The dictionary defines a friend as a person whom one “knows, likes, and trusts.” Let us think about this for a moment. What does it mean to “know” someone? What about “liking” another, to which level? and “Trust” don’t get me started. Does that mean that before I can call you a friend that I have to trust you with my PIN and my email password? I don’t believe so, but you get the point. People tend to use the term “friend” quite loosely. The acquaintance/associate thing is a bit more precise. They are essentially one and the same. In my opinion, an associate is an acquaintance that is known through professional circumstances, whereas an acquaintance is known through other friends or acquaintances, from church, school, etc. I like to separate the two, because I believe that people act differently at work than they do at social functions. Regardless, the majority of people will call all three of these categories “friends” when, in reality, I doubt that one would call his co-worker at 2AM for a ride home when his car breaks down. When you get out of a relationship and it is a bitter breakup, you probably will not talk to the guy at the water cooler about the pain you’re facing. Above all, these three facets are all types of relationships, and all relationships grow and prosper. Even our closest friends started off at one point as an association. When two people make a conscious decision to further their relationship, it can grow into a friendship, and friendships are great. The problem arises when one persons wishes to foster the amity and the other is content in its current state. It is difficult for two people to feel the same way, nay, it is impossible for two people to feel in the same way. This goes back to equality. As I mentioned before, I don’t believe in equality, especially when it comes to emotions. When dealing with a tough time in life, and a loved one says, “I know how you feel.” This is malarky. No two people can feel the same. It’s physiologically impossible. Our brains are all different. How I perceive something and another does is not identical. It is the same in any relationship. Someone always cares either more, or differently. Sure, they can be similar, but not the same.
Perhaps that was an off-topic rant, but essentially, people use the word “friend” too loosely. I have done extensive research on friends and lovers, as well as ten styles of love, different types of relationships, and all that jazz. I love the stuff, but it is boring to the average person, so I’ll just say that it is intense stuff.
Finally, let’s talk about “dogs.” Dogs, (or dawgs, doggs) Or sometimes “my dude(s)” And, I’m sure there’s a female equivalent, are at that point where you feel that they are more revered and cherished than an acquaintance or associate, but have not yet achieved the status of “friend.” Remember, a “friend” is a person whom one knows, likes, and trusts, and, in my opinion, to formulate a friendship is when both parties consciously make an attempt to see one another outside of the realm of knowledge. Meaning, if they are a friend-of-a-friend, then the two of you have to make plans to spend time together without that mutual friend around. If they are a co-worker, then you must spend time outside of work or a work-related function. Dogs have not yet reached the coveted “friend” status, but are closer than those of acquaintances.
Back on track… the next time you say, “my friend” think about it. Is that person to which you are referring someone that you know, like, and trust, or is that person merely someone that you know through a particular organisation? Do you know each other’s middle names? Where you grew up? Have they met your family? Would you call them in the middle of the night if your car breaks down? Just some food for thought, and some things to think about.
P-Wizzle out.
A day in the life 